A Christmas Cake Recipe
1. Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality.
2. Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
3. Repeat.
4. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
6. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup.
7. Turn off the mixerer.
8. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9. Mix on the turner.
10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11. Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.
12. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.
13. Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
14. Add one table.
15. Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
16. Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
17. Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
18. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
19. Throw the bowl out of the f**king window.
20. Check the whisky again and go to bed.
...Ute...
My uncle had a similar Xmas recipe, except he didn't bother with the cake ingredients.
ReplyDeletevon LX- BAHAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteThat's how I do it.
ReplyDeleteMemphis- It is the only way!
ReplyDeleteDid someone mention cake? ;)
ReplyDeleteFen- No.
ReplyDelete:oD
Screw the ingredients, just add cola and buy the frickin cake at the shop.
ReplyDeleteUmm, buy the cake first though. No drunk driving.
Fuse- Now that's my kinda cookin'!
ReplyDeleteFunny! But bugger, i was looking forward to the yummy Chrissy cake!
ReplyDeleteHazzee- Nyaaaaaw.
ReplyDeleteI don't even think I have a Chrissy cake recipe.
Mum always used to buy hers.
I know Mboy's mum makes one...but somehow, I don't really think she'd be willing to give it to me. ;o)
Hello. Followed a link from LX.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Is it from the Charles Bukowsky cooking book?
Mago- Hello!
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by.
I'm afraid I am not familiar with Bukowsky. But I am sure this recipe has been handed down from generation to generation of harried housewives. ;o)
Lol. Sweet!
ReplyDelete